The big move 7/12/15

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You know when you’re feeling stuck and you know in your gut that you need to move cities to get things moving again? But you’re also scared of all the unknowns? Getting a new job, new home, new friends, new partner even? And then there’s finding a new supermarket, gym, doctor, dentist, drycleaner, mechanic, and thai takeaway place.

Starting to feel overwhelmed? Have you convinced yourself you don’t need to move after all? I mean, don’t they say you take your problems with you anyway?

We are creatures of habit, but don’t let the drive for comfort trick you into staying stuck. If a change of scenery is what you need to jumpstart your life again, follow these five tips to simplify the transition and give yourself the best chance of success:

1. Be Clear About Your Goals
There’s a difference between trying to escape your problems by moving, and changing location because it is part of your forward trajectory and future vision for yourself. If your decision to move is based on an intention that is for your greater good, then each time you question your decision in the future (which you probably will), you can come back to the reassuring knowledge that you’ve been driven by the right intention and this is very comforting.

2. Don’t OVERplan
Planning is good, but don’t overplan. Don’t’ get lost in the detail. If you’ve decided a move is what you need, then concentrate on that and then take it one step at a time. Finding a place to live and a job might be your priorities, so focus on those. Try to stay reasonably present and don’t project too far into the future or you are likely to get anxious or overwhelmed.

3. Stay Connected
When you leave a place, the people who stay behind get on with their daily lives. They still have their remaining connections, minus you. You on the other hand, may need to make entirely new connections and this can take time. So, acknowledge this reality and give yourself time to make new connections. Understand that you will have more alone time than you might be used to and plan accordingly. There might be a tendency to feel like you have to put on a brave front to prove to everyone that you made the right decision and your life is going well in your new place. But don’t let pride stop you from staying connected with friends and family when you feel the need to share what is happening for you and when you need support.

4. Join New Groups or Activities
In other words, form new connections. You may be moving for a new job in which case you will have the opportunity to forge new connections at work. But it is also a good idea to form connections outside of work. Join a new sporting group or do a weekend or evening course in something you’ve always wanted to try, like photography or salsa dancing. Being in a new place often comes with a feeling of greater freedom, it’s almost like you’re anonymous. You can take this opportunity to do anything you’ve always wanted to do.

5. Enjoy the Adventure
It’s normal to feel anxious about moving, but try to enjoy the adventure. Let yourself feel the joy of being in a new environment, where things look different and smell different. Feel a sense of excitement when you discover new places in your new city. Here’s a trick. The feeling of anxiety and the feeling of excitement are two sides of the same coin (adrenaline). That’s why one person can feel thrilled at the idea of bungie jumping while another person can feel like they’d rather die. You can quickly flip the feeling of anxiety into excitement when you are in the moment. When you are feeling anxious about being in your new city, think of an exciting moment in your life, maybe your first kiss (if that’s something you want to remember) or a time when you won something, and as you capture that feeling of excitement, simply switch it onto your current thought. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is.
For more tips and to make your transition even smoother, consider a hypnotherapy session with me.

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2 Comments on “The big move 7/12/15

  1. Exlneclet read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he actually bought me lunch because I found it for him smile So let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch!

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